Friday, September 02, 2005

25 People Who Are Screwing Up America

(Oi, what a long day. Won't be writing much tonight.)

The Free Liberal has posted a hilarious parody of Bernard Goldberg's inanity (and waste of good trees) known as "100 People Who Are Screwing Up America". Take a look, it's good stuff. My personal favourites:

"1. Sean Hannity and Alan Colmes, of Hannity & Colmes fame. One’s a loudmouth conservative who’d conserve nothing and blow up everything; the other’s a little liberal puppy who barks and growls and then rolls over for a belly rub. Hannity is the worst. Every call on his radio show consists of him and his caller calling each other “a great American” over and over again. It’s nauseating—like the “You’re shmoopy"/"No, you’re shmoopy” scene from the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld. Colmes is no better. He only takes a backseat because he isn’t as good at drowning out his opponent. He’s equally annoying, though. And his head looks like a rotting pear. Watch these guys long enough and you’ll start to see everything as a Left and Right issue. Even breakfast. “Coming up after the break: Why some liberal housewives refuse to put sugar in their coffee. Are these Splenda-lovin’ liberals bad for America?”"

"2. The Supreme Court. Pot used for cancer pain relief—bad. Homes seized to build office parks and strip malls—good?"

"14. The DEA. Hi. Remember Prohibition? Remember all the crime it caused? Keep doing what you’re doing. The war on drugs makes perfect sense."

"20. Kids who wear Che Guevara t-shirts. Seriously. Do you even know who Che Guevara is?"

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