About bloody time

No one has been more clear about wanting more gay representation on television and in movies than me, but I've gotta say, this was a long time coming:

"Another Gay Movie” spoofs its way through a parody of teen sex comedies and equally formulaic gay coming-of-age flicks.

If you've ever seen more than one "gay coming-of-age flick," you know that once you've seen one, you've seen them all. "Gay movies" are perhaps one of the most formulaic and predictable (not to mention bad) genres out there. In fact, I think the only things more formulaic, predictable and bad are adolescent "coming-of-age" flicks about straight kids - the only reason for that being, I've seen the latter about a hundredfold as many times as I've seen the former, so the former is by default the less stale genre.

But it's so annoying. We get it! Gay youth face unique challenges, coming out is hard, having a conservative mother/father/parents doesn't help, etc. etc. YAWN. I've seen it! Stop it with shit like this! Pretty much the only redeeming quality I can see to that film is that it stars Aaron Ashmore, identical twin brother of the more successful Shawn, who is therefore guaranteed to be hot.

I mean, let's dissect this: someone actually decided to make a movie about a gay kid who, good on him, stood up to the bigots who ran his school and said "fuck you." I support him 100% in that, but come on, is it really worthy of a goddamn movie? Moving along, the title itself is offensive on its face. "Prom Queen?" Ha-fucking-ha. And the tagline is worse: "Will 'Cinderfella' make it to the prom on time?" And a line from the movie: (Emily Hall, upon Marc's coming out): "Marc. Your hair. It's blue. And you have a poster of Celine Dion on your wall. We know." Oh, just kill me. If you've seen it, and it isn't a piece of trash (or even if it is), please tell me.

Stop with the shit like this! It's been said best for me:

Vacationland [is] a generic coming-of-age movie whose arrival on the scene suggests that the audience for gay indie clunkers is inexhaustible.

And get a load of the actors - honestly, they look like they were taken from the set of a porn movie. I'd say, "But I'm sure they're fine, unknown actors," but that would be a filthy lie. I'm not sure they're fine, if unknown, actors. I'm very far from sure. In fact, given the "acting" I've seen in a lot of these films (it's terribly ironic that I prefer straight actors' portrayals of gay men 99% of the time) the odds are really better that they're not good actors at all.

Come on, guys, it's 2006. The "gay genre" was stale before I even knew what it was. I find it so very hard to believe that gay people are still eating these campy, predictable movies, but then, I find it hard to believe that anybody still goes to see "horror" flicks and "teen movies," so I probably shouldn't expect much. I mean really, coming out of the closet is awkward and traumatic enough when you're doing it for the first time - why in god's name would you want to watch movie after movie of awkward, traumatized kids coming out to hateful and/or judgmental people? Isn't there something a bit masochistic about that? Don't we all hear enough "coming out" stories (that end well and not so well) as it is? This is not a story that needs to be told again and again with different Starry-Eyed Boys (TM) sitting in the protaganist's chair. (Unless they decide to make one starring him, and/or him, which I would wholeheartidly support, the former because he's a fantastic actor, and the latter because there'd probably be a sex scene - scratch that, there's always a sex scene - and I just want to see him in it.)

As I've said before, no more! I want comedies, horrors, dramas, sci-fi/fantasies, romances and action/adventure films with non-token gay characters. Even just a one or two every ten or twenty films or so I'd be happy with. Is that so much to ask? Stop feeding me garbage and telling me it's a complex exploration of the inner turmoil of youths grappling with being gay. It's not, it's just a tried and true formula that people are afraid to deviate from.

This has been an intoxicated rant by Clear Grit. Good night, and good luck.