Wednesday, August 23, 2006


I saw someone buy a bong tonight at San Diego (a chain store that's constantly going out of business for some reason, so you get lots of clearance sales). It amused me so much, buying paraphernalia designed, in most cases, to be used with substances which are apparently illegal because, apparently, they are capable of destroying this country and the morals of its upstanding, hardworking citizens and their white, heterosexual families.

Come on, people. You're never going to stop the evil scourge of drugs like that!

In fact, if drugs are that much of a plague upon our society, I think it's time to get serious. I mean, if we really want to stop illegal drugs from reaching the pure-as-the-driven-snow hands of our young, innocent, and oh-so-naive children (won't somebody think of them for once!) we'd better stop pretending that we can stop this ever-encroaching darkness with the kinds of weak penalties we afford. Ten years in prison is simply not enough for someone evil enough to sell a product to willing customers for an agreed upon price! We need real deterrents!

That's why I, here, now, am officially advocating the use of the restoration of the death penalty, and its application to some of the worst people in our society - drug users and their dealers!
These people are single-handedly responsible for 73.2% of the evil festering in Canadian communities, and it's time we started treating them accordingly. (They are also responsible for 90% of the puppy stranglings, and 50% of child molestations... whoops, sorry, that last one's the Catholic Church.) If we want to fight drugs, let's get serious!

(More on the drug war later...)


At 8/23/2006 3:20 a.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

You sound like Nancy Reagan.

The best way to win the war on drugs is to LEGALISE them, silly!

Oh, yeah, and use alternative strategies, like safe-injection sites. If you are against them, then I think you should join Team Harper, where your views will fit much better.

I cannot believe that your knickers got into such a twist ("will anybody think of the children!!")because you saw someone buying a bong! Grow up.

Sweetie, you need to mellow out, if you get my drift!

At 8/23/2006 8:23 p.m., Blogger montreal simon said...

Uh oh...I think anonymous must have been mellowing out a little bit too much and missed your drift... Next time you better put up a flashing SATIRE sign, or a frantically winking eye. As for your radical prescription I completely agree. As long as you include alcohol on the list of dangerous drugs. You know the stuff some judges slurp down during long lunch breaks. Before returning to court to sentence some kid to jailtime for smoking pot...

At 8/28/2006 10:25 p.m., Blogger Clear Grit said...

Honestly, no matter how hard one tries, there will always be some idiot who is completely unable to grasp the concept of SATIRE. Anonymous, congratulations, you win the prize. I tried to go as over-the-top as I could with that post (which I may or may not have made under the influence of something or other, I'll leave that to your imagination) thinking, "No one could possibly think I was serious if I said THIS." I once again underestimated the density of the average human being.

At 9/02/2006 11:06 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

At 9/02/2006 11:11 p.m., Anonymous Anonymous said...


I think the thing with San Diego and the constant sales is their economic uncertainty. They have been in a whole mess of legal troubles with products with fake CSA labels on them.. CBC's Marketplace told of people's homes being set on fire from overheating lamps and hopefully you didn't partake in the clearance lol.

and you know, Anon has a point.. the magicians Penn and Teller did a great episode of their show "Bullshit" on the "War on Drugs" in the states and how legalization wouldn't have an immensily negative effect. it's on google video.. take a peek


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